Maybe You Should Get Started (Or Stop Stalling)

Photo by Suganth on Unsplash

Hey there, hero!

People respond differently to “toward” language than they do to “away from” language.

So I’m going to try to cover everyone that ever watches this video.

Toward language: get started.

Away from language: stop stalling.

Hope this helps!



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  1. “Stop stalling” helps me to identify a behavior that may be holding me back, which gives more insight into how to get off the dime than a mere “get started.” Therefore, I find the ‘away from’ language more helpful.

  2. For me its a combination of the toward and away from language. Because I am usually in one or both states of mind at all times. lol. This kind of communication takes into account how complex we can be as people. And it shows that the speaker is really in touch with the audience. I would also say that hearing both helps me do some soul searching at that moment. Like after I just watched this, I asked myself, “Am I stalling? Do I need to start?” I myself didnt really know what I needed to hear until I sort of asked myself both. And afterward I realized, I am stalling. If I only heard the one message, I might have missed what I needed. David you usually take time to address all types of people in your audience and that is a major strength and reason why I think you are an effective coach. Great video to start my day-thank you

  3. I think I respond most positively to the “Get started” language, when it comes with a healthy dose of motivation. It makes me know I’m up to the task and I’ll feel so good once I just start! But I also respond to “Stop stalling!” in that it makes me feel bad enough about procrastinating that I just might nudge myself to take that next step forward. Of course, I prefer to feel positive than negative, but both work in their own ways! I think the key, for me, is to feel motivated and empowered so I can confidently push ahead.

  4. In general, I would say toward language as I feel is has underlying support where as away has a ‘sightly’ negative feel to it. However, I need to listen to both :-).

  5. I think I do better with the “towards language.” The away from language seems to be my native tongue. I don’t really need any more of that. What I typically need is the little push over the hump.

  6. I tend to listen to both, although “away’ language can at times seem like negative reinforcement . As a sidelight, and FYI, I was a psychiatric nurse for years (working on a high security locked mental health unit). In my interactions with patients, I found that “toward” language seemed to be much more effective in helping them to a more positive place…

  7. These videos always make me think and with each I come away inspired.

    I just wanted to make a general observation today.

    The cadence and pacing of your voice and the patient way in which you walk us through what you want to say is a tremendous comfort. You make your messages feel very personal and engaging in a way that reminds me of how comforted and encouraged I was as a kid listening to Mister Rogers. Take that as a high compliment, and thanks for doing these. 🙂

  8. Stop stalling works best for me. It just stops the bs in my mind and gets me to laugh at myself and then get going. Great motivation. Thank you.

  9. There is a kids’ game, “hot and cold”, in which an object is hidden in a room and one person, who did not see where it is hidden, is given clues by the others, who know where it is hidden. When the seeker movers far from the object he is told her is getting colder. When he moves closer to the object he is told he is getting warmer or hotter. I heard somewhere that in a version of this game in which only one kind of clue is given, either “hot” clues or “cold” clues, the seeker almost always finds the object significantly faster and easier with just “hot” (positive, close to) clues than with just “cold” (negative, far from) clues. I don’t know how it compares with using both kinds of clues.
    I have never checked this out for my self but it might be fun to try.

  10. Get started is better for me. I like the focus you put on mindset, which is now in the curriculum. I’m trying to put much of your positive, forward language into practice. Thanks for the video David.

  11. Get Started! is more positive and motivating for me than focusing on Stop Stalling! which makes me defensive. I do occasionally read some “5 things you shouldn’t do” type articles and such, but try to focus on “You will be great if you do these great things”.