Don’t Listen With The Intent To Reply. Listen With The Intent To Do This Instead.

well hey there hero it’s David H
Lawrence the 17th and I am I guess this
is kind of like confession time because
in the last couple of weeks I’ve been
doing some videos on things that I’m
still working on things that make me
still a work in progress and one of the
things that came up for me today because
I noticed that I was doing it right
rather than wrong made me want to share
this with you I think that we sometimes
have a predisposition when we’re having
a conversation with somebody where it’s
very intense we sometimes have this
predisposition to listen with the intent
to reply so if somebody’s having a
conversation with us we’re listening
we’re talking then I talk then you talk
and I talk and we’re listening and we’re
waiting for the other person to stop
talking you can tell because they’re
like you know they’re just waiting for
their opportunity to talk and that
sometimes is me and I realized it wasn’t
productive because I wasn’t getting
enough out of the conversations when I
really looked at it you know I love to
you know help people I love to be the
guy with the answers I love to make
people’s lives better and I feel
sometimes that when I have conversations
with them they want to know what I have
to say but what I found
and what maybe even kind of helpful for
you I don’t know if this is something
that you deal with is saying to yourself
when you start to feel that well up
inside you that that well I got to get
my point across and I got to get my my
voice has to be heard or if they would
just listen to me things would be so
much better instead of listening with
the intent to reply I tell myself calm
down relax listen
with the intent to understand what
they’re saying what the situation is
what their goal is what their agenda is
if you stopped listening for that moment
to jump in with your side of the
conversation then you can often uncover
things that you might not have known
before because you’re in a much more you
know calm state and you’re listening and
you’re trying to understand even if you
totally disagree even if there’s like no
chance that you will ever be on the same
page you’re arguing about something as
long as you’re listening with the intent
to understand
all of a sudden things make themselves
known that you wouldn’t have caught
because you were so wrapped up in
getting ready to reply and I you know
our union God loved our union I was I
was at a meeting and I was having you
know a conversation not the same
conversation that I talked about in
another video but a conversation and I
felt myself getting anxious and I
thought no no just calm down listen see
what they have to say even wait when
they finish talking don’t jump right in
and let them continue to talk if that’s
they want to do and I found out that the
real reason that this person wanted to
say these things in the way that they
said them was that they didn’t feel like
they were being supported in the way
that they thought was appropriate for a
professional organization like zag after
and that was very different from what I
thought the issue was so try not to
listen with the intent to reply but
rather listen with the intent to
understand what do you think about that
tell me what you think give me a comment
below and tell me if this is you if this
is you in a conversation or are you the
patient saying that I would like to be
I’d love to know how you do that
I mean I’m learning I’m still a work in
progress right but I wanted to share
with you that just in case you know we
go home for the holidays or we
go on a vacation or we go to an event
and a networking thing and we have the
opportunity to talk that we have this
ability to relax into the conversation
and maybe that’ll make a difference I
don’t know tell me what you think
comments below the video be on the list
by filling out the form that says get on
the list I’m David H Lawrence the 17th
hero and I thank you so much for
watching and I will talk to you tomorrow.