Don’t Listen With The Intent To Reply. Listen With The Intent To Do This Instead.

Hey there, hero!

How many times have you been speaking with someone, and you can see in their face that they are simply waiting for you to stop talking…so they can reply?

Maybe you do that from time to time. I know I do.

It’s a part of me that’s a work in progress. And I think I’ve come up with an alternative that might help all of us.

Hope this helps!



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  1. David, Your presentation of this topic is perfect timing for my journey to become a better me. I find myself doing this quite often. It’s usually because the conversation is jumping around, and I think I’m going to forget my response, or the conversation will move past the topic so quickly that it will be no longer appropriate to respond by the time I get a chance. I am going to use this method you presented as soon as possible, and also give myself permission to not respond at all, if it makes no difference to the outcome of the conversation anyway. I’m looking forward to progressing with this slice of self-improvement. Thank You David!!

  2. I call it, “waiting to talk.” I’ve seen people do it countless times, and I’ve been that person too. You’re absolutely right that if you listen to understand, you’ll have a more productive discussion.

  3. This is so brilliantly simple, and it is incredibly useful. I have always been a good listener, and this is a great exercise to review in my own conversations going forward, if I adhere to, “listening for understanding, or just to reply”! Thanks, David

  4. Hello David,
    I am a ‘talker’. I always want to ‘help’ people in their situation. All the time, I really have to concentrate on listening to the other person, and hearing what they have to say!
    It is difficult for me, but I am learning! I have been practicing carefully to be a ‘listener’. I am so glad to discover that I am not the only ‘learner’ with regards to this!
    Thank you for your video that relates to my problematic ‘talking too soon and too much’ situation. I has encouraged me to concentrate even more on listening rather than concentrating on talking.

  5. Love this…”listening with intent”. We have all experienced people who are formulating an argument before even hearing what is being said.
    The funny part of this is… look how many of us are replying!