0094: When To Avoid Reframing And Do Something More Useful

Raw transcript:

in these podcast episodes I often talk
about not being too hard on yourself
uh being able to reframe a situation so
that it’s easier on your emotions your
spirituality we live in such a weird
random world and we’ve chosen such a
weird random job to do that reframing
often helps but there may be times where
reframing isn’t your best path
and I’m going to talk about that in this
episode of the vo Heroes podcast
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I had a general manager at a radio
station once telling me you know you’d
be a whole lot better off if you weren’t
Your Own Worst Enemy
um I really used to beat myself up a
great deal about my challenges my
failures even my successes are these
real do these really matter are people
really enjoying this or are they just
saying that to me I had all kinds of
doubts going on in my head
but that phrase sent me on a bit of a
journey to try and figure out why I was
My Own Worst Enemy and it led me to what
were the
germination of the idea of reframing a
situation so that it’s more useful and
less destructive we can really let
ourselves get down when all we worry
about is the emotions or the the failure
or the the negative side of things as
opposed to the positive sides of things
which is usually learning something
right
but I don’t want you to immediately make
that
the only thing you do when something
happens where you fail or you’re
challenged or things don’t turn out the
way you wanted the outcome doesn’t match
your expectations
there is one maybe more but there is one
very very obvious time when reframing
isn’t necessarily the right thing to do
the the the moment when you go oh well
this is a learning experience and then
leave it at that just to sort of assuage
your your feelings and that is when you
really need to get better at something
when you need deeper training or you
need better explanation or you need a
better system or a better process when
you need to fix
what is broken or not even yet put
together
you know we often will sit there and get
very frustrated with technology or with
a performance or with a relationship
with a peer
and uh we need to fix it but in the
meantime we don’t feel so good about it
so we reframe it but sometimes we just
leave it at that
and I just want you to always consider
in addition to your reframing to make
you feel better uh not beating yourself
up over this really getting the help you
need don’t leave that off to the side
don’t forget
to fix the problem improve your process
get better tools or at least tools that
are more effective
don’t forget to do the hard basic work
of doing better at that particular thing
in addition to making yourself feel
better about it
I’ve seen people fly right by the notion
of uh oh I really should figure out how
to do that accent better or I really
should figure out
how
audacity or or Pro Tools or my
microphone why it did what it did or why
I did what I did when I made the choice
in that character there’s millions of
different things that we we come up
against all the time but we sometimes
stop at that moment where we go oh well
it’s a learning experience that which
doesn’t kill me makes me stronger or
whatever you’re doing to reframe the
thoughts and feelings on something
don’t forget
sometimes you also have to do some very
basic work to get better so that next
time you meet that challenge
I hope that makes sense for you
um
I want the best for you I want you to
feel good and I also want you to do good
and so keep that in mind the next time
you come up against a challenge where
you think to yourself oh all I have to
do is change the words about how I feel
about this and I’ll be fine Maybe not
maybe not
uh if you like what you’re hearing
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know what you think about this in the
comments below I’m David H Lawrence the
17th I thank you so much for watching
and for listening and I will see you in
the next episode of the vo Heroes
podcast
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