0001: Howzabout A High-Good, Low-Bad Diet?

well hey there hero I have a question
why is it so easy for us to get totally
bent out of shape when we hear something
negative a criticism an insult we get
really really worked up but yet it’s
really hard for us to get really really
worked up when we hear something
positive a compliment a piece of good
news why is that we’ll find out in just
a second on this edition of the vo
heroes podcast
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I’m David H Lawrence the 17th and in
this edition of the vo heroes podcast I
want to talk to you a little bit about
an article that brought up some really
great points for performers I mean it’s
good for everybody in general but for
performers oh my god does this have
application so so pay attention this is
an article in The Wall Street Journal
and unless you have Apple news or you
have a subscription to The Wall Street
Journal it’s likely behind a paywall but
it is so worth knowing about the title
of the article is for the new year
say no to negativity so yeah great it’s
a New Year’s article about being
positive and all that but it’s a lot
more than that it’s by John Tierney who
writes for The Wall Street Journal and
Roy Baumeister who is a professor at
Case Western Reserve University at least
I think he is I know he works at Case
Western as a researcher I don’t know if
he’s a professor there but he went
looking for something really interesting
he had this notion in his mind that
everything in the world that we hear
about is negative and we all get really
bent out of shape politically and
emotionally and and you know technically
with our business and all that sort of
thing whenever we hear something bad so
why is that why do we have such a
visceral reaction to bad stuff to
negativity and yet we find it difficult
to have a visceral reaction to good
stuff sure there are people that get
crazy happy when something good happens
right but that’s not usual that’s kind
of odd and kind of strange when we see
it we look at people like that actor
that Italian actor that went crazy at
the Academy Awards when he won and
climbing over seats and stuff were like
what’s wrong with him
he just won an Academy Award what do you
mean what’s wrong with him but we have
that right it’s not a problem for us to
get really really upset when something
negative happens but the same reaction
isn’t really all that likely when
something good happens and he actually
gave that a name along with a number of
colleagues he looked for studies that
had looked at this couldn’t find any and
so he did his own and it turned out that
there’s an awful lot to unpack from this
especially for us as performers so he
calls this the neck
activity bias this is what we have in
our lives we are hell-bent to watch out
for dangers and there’s a reason for
this because we evolved out of creatures
that were constantly being threatened
you know when we were still evolving our
critter brains we’re constantly saying
am i safe am I still alive is everything
okay not hey is this a party are we
gonna have some fun is everything good
our critter brain doesn’t do that our
critter brain just says are you okay is
everything good and the article talks
about how ingrained this is all
throughout history and in our society
the fact that you can think about the
pain of criticism versus what’s supposed
to be the pleasure of praise but it’s
often painful you got you how do I react
to this somebody said something nice
about me what do I do
I don’t want to come off as boastful I
don’t want to be you know that guy or
that girl so I’ll just like sort of go
it’s no big deal it’s okay but when
something bad happens oh my gosh
so the article talks about this and you
know this is not the first time that
we’ve thought about this I grew up in
radio in the 70s television and radio in
the 80s 90s and onward and there was a
format of news radio or sorry news
television actual six o’clock news that
many many television stations tried
across the country it started in Chicago
because the program director there
noticed this whole like everything in
the news is bad there’s killings and
accidents and traffic jams and weather
is horrible and there’s nothing good you
know we use good stories for kicker
stories so they started a format called
happy news and if you’re over the age of
50 you might remember what a miserable
horrible failure it was people didn’t
sit behind desks they didn’t have summer
looks on their faces they weren’t Stern
they weren’t trying to give you the knew
they were like hey everything’s great
look at this look at this field of
flowers and oh my gosh here’s a teacher
doing something wonderful for the
community and all the stuff oh and by
the way there was a couple of murders
but you know don’t worry about that and
they would sit in chairs and easy chairs
and they’d sort of banter back
oh did it fail miserably and part of it
was because it’s that relic of our
evolution we want to know that we’re
safe now in our business and they talk
about this to a degree in the study that
Baumeister did in our business we have
so few moments of positivity because
there’s so little work for the number of
people that want the jobs and so there’s
negative all over the place and there’s
unknown negative we’ve talked about this
in past and past editions of these
videos in this audio so we’re constantly
looking for threats and what I’d like to
suggest is we can do a lot better than
that we can and it’s time that we do
because we’re no longer living in caves
and on the plains and being attacked by
saber-toothed Tigers yeah there’s lots
of there’s lots of danger out there you
know there were no highways back in the
day right there is today and that’s
dangerous we can list millions of
different dangers but we keep forgetting
how much better things are poverty has
gone down crime has gone down and not
just a little bit like one-fifth the
crime that there was just 20 years ago
because of evolution in society
evolution in law enforcement evolution
in interpersonal relationships we’ve
become more evolved as human beings
everything is getting better people are
wealthier yes there are some people who
are still struggling I get that but in
general as a society we are doing so
much better than we were and we
completely forget about that we dwell on
the things that are negative so what do
we do about this and why should we want
to change it well let me answer that
question first and then I’m gonna give
you five things that you can do to
combat the negativity bias so if we have
less stress in our lives if we have a
smile on our faces if we have the
ability to look for the good both in
ourselves and in others it helps us
bridge disagreements it helps us
indle adversity and rejection anybody
here have any rejection in this past few
months you know audition for something
and not get it just check-in
it helps us handle those things better
and it gives us the tools to really
enjoy the good things that we experience
so let’s take a look at a list of five
ways that we can make the good good and
make the bad reasonable so number one do
no harm
always want to find the positive and
things do no harm because it’s rarely as
bad as we think it is we can work
ourselves into a frenzy about how bad
something is first do no harm and this
by the way comes from the article I wish
I could show it to you but it’s already
gone from my newsfeed so I want you to
go find it if you can it’s in the Wall
Street Journal again do no harm
look for the positive in everything and
look to minimize the negative because if
you go back throughout your history and
you you look at the things that you
thought were the end of the world they
weren’t you know whenever anybody gets a
coffee immediately think I have lung
cancer or I have something going on with
me that’s really horrible right so first
do no harm number two know and
acknowledge the rule of four so what
this is is Baumeister looked at things
and interviewed people and did studies
and realized that it takes four positive
interactions to overcome the negative
effects of one bad interaction so just
know that you can’t really do much about
it but look for the positive stuff and
count them know that that’s coming so
use the rule of four number three put
the bad to work for you remember when
we’ve talked about failure and learning
lessons and how valuable failure is well
those are bad negative experiences all
negative experiences have lessons inside
them and so if we look for that all of a
sudden it can actually become a positive
you get some knowledge from it you get
some experience from it you get to
employ do more of what works and less of
what doesn’t so put the back
to work for you number four celebrate
and remember the positive stuff we tend
to very quickly forget the wins in our
lives we go oh such a horrible year such
a horrible week sort of horrible month
but what about the good stuff you know I
got shoulder surgery last year and it
was pretty horrible but the good thing
is my shoulder is good now right so
celebrate and remember those wins when
you book something when you get a
callback when a casting director says
something good about what you’ve done
when a coach says something great or you
make a breakthrough jot it down remember
it memorialize it just the way you’d
memorialize the tragedies in your life
try to do less of that right remember
the big picture we are raised if we have
any religion in our lives to be fearful
and the truth of the matter is is that
organized religion can use that as a
weapon it happens in almost all
organized religions know that and reject
that don’t be fearful about negative
situations your critter brain is gonna
protect you people around you are gonna
protect you our homes protect us our
cars protect us our vigilance protect us
know that you are okay and you don’t
have to worry about being a bad person
look to the positives the wins in your
life and remember that the big picture
is always getting better
it really is you wouldn’t be watching or
listening to this podcast if you weren’t
somebody who was really interested in
bettering yourself
nobody’s wallowing in self-pity and
getting this far into a podcast episode
with me so hopefully you can remember
the big picture so those five things can
go a long way toward helping you
understand and get past the negativity
bias so here’s what I’d love for you to
tell me in either the comments below
this video our podcast or in a comment
space somewhere wherever you’re watching
this on youtube or whether you’re
hearing it
Apple podcasts or stitcher or Google
Play or iTunes or wherever you’re
hearing it what do you notice what do
you feel inside the moment something
negative happens the moment somebody
criticizes you the moment somebody says
yeah no we went in a different direction
or you don’t hear anything do you feel
left out do you feel what do you notice
what happens and how big is that feeling
then please tell me what do you notice
when something good happens when
something positive happens when
something occurs that makes you happy or
makes you feel accomplished or gives you
a notion that you’re on the right track
leave a note for me in the comments
below I’d love to hear what’s going on
and if you would please like this video
this podcast wherever you happen to be
doing it we’re doing both video and
audio versions of it because I know
people consume media in a couple of
different ways and we also put show
notes in all of the spaces where this
appears I’m David H Lawrence – 17 thank
you so much for listening to this
episode of the vo heroes podcast
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