0075: Three Things To Do Instead Of Interrupting Someone

Raw transcript:

so in a previous episode of this podcast
i asked the
the somewhat double entendre based
question can you last
for 18 seconds
and what we ended up talking about was
the notion that people don’t listen
very long before jumping in to give
a response when someone is talking to
them
and i got a few pieces of of email some
comments saying well
can you help me here
how do i train myself not to do this i
want to be helpful and you keep talking
all the time about being helpful okay
i’ve got three things i’m going to share
with you that will help you
last at least 18 seconds and do so in a
way that’s truly helpful to all of the
people that you speak with and we’ll do
that in this episode of the vo heroes
podcast
[Music]
so in the
uh the pursuit of being a great listener
an active listener what what uh jonathan
lowe calls a listener who listens louder
i’ve got three things that i want to
share with you real briefly that will
help you with this and it’s not just
trying to last 18 seconds
it’s actually in life to be a better
listener in life these three
these three things often help me
uh the first one is
a silent
uh uh technique and the other two are
uh more overt
so the first thing that i would mention
to you is
say something in your head repeat a word
or a phrase that the person just said to
you maybe their name
maybe a concept
just repeat it to yourself in your head
as you’re listening very short very
sweet so you can also pay attention to
what they’re saying
but if somebody says something like yeah
that that microphone i
i just i’m not happy what else and just
say to yourself microphone right that’s
it
it’s a mnemonic that will help you
remember the general idea of what
they’re saying and lead you
to the details of the other thing that
they’re saying or the details of what
they’re talking about about that
microphone so do that every so often and
you’ll find that it helps you touch base
with what they’ve said
over the course of
the more than 18 seconds that you’re
listening
the other thing you can do
and this is the second of the three
things you can do
is to give them verbal clues or just
simply non-verbal
notions that you are listening
how many times have we been at a party
and somebody is staring over our
shoulder
looking for something that you feel is
more interesting to them than what
you’re saying right instead
nod your head
or say uh-huh
even even if
you don’t feel the urge to do that
very often you want to give them the
space that they need to speak
just give them that moment of letting
them know that you are engaged with them
and that you are listening that doesn’t
mean interrupting them with
uh any sort of of counsel
or feedback
or
advice right it’s just oh
and maintain
some sort of eye contact with them
it’s it’s sort of like don’t look away
don’t like look around for something
more interesting just make sure that
you’re connected and the third thing
is to give them very overt verbal clues
that you
are not only hearing them but would love
clarification so what you’re saying to
me about the microphone is that blah
blah blah and very brief and let them
continue with yeah that’s what i’m
talking about
or
so
the microphones pick up can you tell me
a little bit more about what you’re
talking is it the positioning of the
pickup or is it the
the way the microphone is hanging or not
hanging uh can you tell me a little bit
more about that that’s not giving advice
or feedback
what it’s doing is asking them
to help you engage even more in the
conversation at some point
yeah you’re going to have the
opportunity
and they may say something over it like
so what do you think about that
or they may say so what do you what do
you do in that situation
that’s like an invitation to okay i’ve
given you what i want i’m ready for a
response i’m ready for feedback i’m
ready for your advice or your counsel or
your feelings on something you know it’s
it’s kind of
it’s kind of demoralizing as
someone who’s engaged in a conversation
with someone else when they clearly
don’t care
they don’t give a crap they’re not
really they don’t even want to be
standing there
and sometimes people can mistake
uh just being passive listeners with
disinterest and so you don’t want that
so
repeat a word silently in your head uh
give them verbal or non-verbal clues
that you are engaged in the conversation
and ask for clarification those are the
three things that i think would help
most often
and i’d love to know if there are things
that you do in conversations that you’ve
found really effective
in in engaging people
in having them perceive you as being a
great listener if you’ve gotten feedback
on stuff i’m i’m passionate about this
sort of thing i really appreciate uh the
conversation that is held
uh below this video on voheros.com i’d
love to have you uh subscribe to the
channel or hit the like button or if you
want to share this
with another
performer voice talent actor who you
think might benefit from it
i’m david h lawrence the 17th i thank
you so much for watching and for
listening
and i will see you in the next episode
of the vo heroes podcast
[Music]
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