The NLP Outcome Frame – Question 2: Proving Your Reasoning

hey they’re here oh it’s David H
Lawrence the 17th and in a recent video
I talked about being trained in neuro
linguistic programming or NLP to the
level where if I wanted to be I could be
an NLP practitioner I could open up a
little practice I could help people
arrive at some decent conclusions about
their actions and their emotions and
sort of align those to help them get
along better with others and things like
that but one specific thing that I
learned when I took NLP a few years ago
was about the outcome frame and the
outcome frame is a process by which an
NLP practitioner can lead a client
through a series of questions that helps
them clarify what they need to do to get
from where they are now which is usually
stuck in some way to where they want to
be which is a different level right and
that video that I mentioned all this in
we talked about the very first question
that an NLP practitioner would ask a
client in the outcome frame and that is
what do you want and I’d asked you in
the video to ask yourself that question
what do I want and really take the time
to understand that identifying something
that you have some sort of control over
getting as opposed to a very massive
what do I want that rarely do you have
the control over I want a million
dollars ok well let’s break that down
into smaller chunks of what do you want
right that was the first question what
do I want if you’re asking yourself or
what do you want if you’re asking
somebody else the second question is a
doozy because once you’ve identified
that what do you want this second
question is kind of like huh okay well
let’s take a look at that because the
second question in the NLP outcome frame
after what do you want is what would
having that do for you now when you
think about this of course it depends on
what you said when you answer the first
question about what do you want but what
you’ll find is that almost everything
that
people say they want if it’s followed up
with the question of what will having
that do for you it’s a lot bigger than
you would think now maybe the answer to
your question is I’d like to get along
better with my kids or as we said in the
first video I want a better relationship
with my agent
what would having that do for you is the
follow-on question and it makes you
think huh
why do I want what I say I want I mean
on the face of it it’s pretty obvious
everybody wants a good relationship with
their agent right they want an agent
that loves them they want to love their
agent they want an agent that’s really
active that gets them audition
opportunities and bookings and gets them
a great money for their son and for
those of you that don’t have agents you
will someday I promise you it’ll be
it’ll be fine
but insert something else in terms of
age manager or spouse or kids or parents
right and that’s just one slim category
of what you want but when you ask
yourself what would having that do for
you in the world of NLP you don’t ask
that question just once because let’s
just say you want a better relationship
with your agent well having that do for
you well I won’t feel so bad when I call
them or if I have a better relationship
with my agent they’ll like me better and
it’s interesting because if you ask the
question again I’ll feel better when I
call them and you ask that very same
second question again well what will
having that do for you having a better
time when you call them I’ll feel better
and I’ll feel more at ease and more
relaxed okay and what will having that
do for you you see how this is an
iterative thing well if I feel more
relaxed and I’m more at ease then I’ll
be happier okay
it always seems to feel like it always
seems to be that when you ask that
question over and over and over again
you go from a low level specific what
would having that do for you to a much
larger much more in
much more powerful feeling or state or
way of existing I’ll feel loved because
that’s really the ultimate end goal of
having a better relationship with your
agent I’ll be appreciated I’ll feel safe
I’ll be healthy and even I’ll be healthy
like say you say what I want is to lose
20 pounds while having that do for you
well then I’ll be healthier and what
will having that do for you I’ll feel
accomplished I’ll feel safe you know it
always seems to come back to sort of the
critter brain I my safe and my safe am i
safe that that very primitive part of
our brain that constantly is checking
for one thing are we dead yet no okay
great let’s keep checking if we are we
can stop checking I mean that’s one of
the bay that’s one of the hilarious
basic tenets of NLP and other ways of
looking at how your brain works that
that I’m really humorous made um but
this notion of asking for what you want
and then really testing that and saying
what will having that do for you can
lead you to think huh maybe maybe I
don’t want that maybe that’s just
something that other people think I
should have or other people want so
maybe I should want them right some
people say I want an agent well if
you’ve already got a lot of
possibilities for your portfolio of
opportunity you may not need an agent
you may want one but you may not need
one so that second question in the
outcome frame is also worth asking so
again here’s some homework for you take
the question of what do you want take
the answer that you gave yourself what
do I want I want this and ask yourself
what would having that do for me what
would having that do for me and once you
answer that question ask it again about
the answer well what would having that
do for me and see how far you can go
it’s really interesting how powerful
that process will be now there’s one
more question that I’m going to share
with you in a future video that
takes what do I want and what would
having that do for me and really
packages it in something that is
actionable to get what you want and to
see what you want
now that you’ve tested you’ve declared
what you want that you’ve tested what
you want now we’re gonna take a look at
one more question in an upcoming video
that is going to be extraordinarily
powerful I promise you let me know what
you think about all this in the comments
below if this is like like way over your
head you don’t care about any of this
okay I get it I think it’s really
powerful to ask yourself these questions
and also if you’re trying to help other
people around you people in your family
people that are friends of yours people
that are peers just asking these
questions without knowing how it all
works can be fairly powerful because
you’re not giving advice you’re not
telling them what to do you’re not
telling yourself what to do you’re
asking questions that clarify and that
can be really really powerful let me
know what you think about this in the
comments below I’d love to find out if
you want to join my list and know when
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you want to be on the list what do you
want I want to be on the list
what will having that do for you oh my
gosh I don’t even know where to begin
anyway if that’s what you’d like please
do that I’m David H Lawrence I’m sir I’m
David H Lawrence the 17th III thank you
so much for watching and I will talk to
you tomorrow.