13162: Self-Care And The Hills You Choose To Die On
Hey there, hero!
Taking care of ourselves is paramount – as actors, voice talent, writers and other creatives, we don’t have an office infirmary and an in-person support community when we are in need of self-care.
And one area where your personal mental and physical health can be threatened is when you choose to disagree with someone’s point of view…especially in online communication.
The anonymity of social media emboldens some to take very big liberties with the basics of good manners – we can be attacked from many angles without the ability to defend ourselves (or sometimes even know who is doing the attacking).
But rest assured that when you make a commitment to a tool or process, something that you know works for you, know that you can feel so much better by choosing to ignore the attacks altogether.
Don’t respond at all if it’s going to cause you grief. Just…move on.
I’ll give you some basic self-care choices you can make to move on and feel sooooo much better.
Does this make sense? Do you enjoy the power of deciding not to engage? Let me know in the comments below.
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Raw transcript:
Raw transcript:
I think it’s really important that we
engage in self-care whenever we can and
something came up for me recently about
expressing my
opinions uh and that I am reluctant to
do so in a couple of instances because
of the notion of self-care and the
phrase that I came up with was I have
other Hills to die on and I want to talk
to you about that uh in this episode of
the vo Heroes
podcast
so I’ve stopped talking about certain
things that I teach in the vo Heroes Pro
uh Community uh unless I’m asked
directly about them uh I’ve I’ve stopped
talking about them in general I’ve
stopped talking about my stair step
method I’ve stopped talking about the
fact that I use the at2020 USB
plus uh in the case of the stairstep
method I have a peer a fellow trainer
who once called my stair step method
snake oil and really was was was like
aggressively negative about it in a
public uh uh audiobook Forum um clearly
when you mention USB
microphones uh people have strong
opinions about them they’ve heard you
should never use them um I I you know in
both cases with the stairstep method and
with the at20 20 USB
plus I feel like I’ve come to peace with
that because I have information and data
that the people that have differing
opinions about those two items as
examples they don’t have I’ve made a lot
of money with both I see my clients and
students making a lot of money with both
I see examples of
success with uh processes and pieces of
Technology that kind of hearkened back
to the days when Windows users would
make fun of Macintosh users oh you use
that little toy computer to do your work
you know now you look at at at what’s
going on and you go wow okay so how long
does it take for that proof to be
obvious to be apparent but there’s also
this notion of
self-care uh to be attacked for
promoting something that you know works
but is different from what somebody else
uses and works for them is for me taking
it a step too far into the space of it
being you know deleterious to my health
my mental health my physical health I
don’t want to walk around thinking to
myself well I don’t want to piss people
off but I know this works I’m not going
to argue about it
um so what I’ve chosen to do is choose
other Hills to die on you know I’ll I’ll
fight to the death for other things
things but not for these not for this
stuff however I will absolutely support
my community and speak about these
things in my community and kind of have
that quiet little moment of
self-satisfaction knowing that you know
they don’t like what I say okay that’s
fine it’s their loss right and when you
have something like that it can be from
many different areas in your life you’ve
chosen to do a certain certain uh amount
of things with your free time that other
people maybe wouldn’t do uh you’ve
chosen to pursue a religious uh uh
practice that other people wouldn’t do a
political practice that other people
wouldn’t do a technological practice
that other people don’t do who knows but
it can be really helpful to your ongoing
well-being if you don’t take that one
step further like those people who
disagree with me have and demand that
the rest of the world fall in line with
your beliefs you can just simply go
ahead treat yourself with kindness treat
yourself with a nice amount of self-care
know that what you’re doing is working
choose to try some other things if you
want to but rest assured that just
because you differ in your opinions or
you differ in your procedures or your
systems or your strategies or your
tactics with somebody else that’s okay
you don’t have to make them be like you
just in the same way you don’t have to
let them make sure you know you’re
wrong that you’re not like them you
don’t do what they do does this make
sense to you have you have you had these
moments where you sit there and you go
wow I feel attacked because I simply
disagree with somebody I mean we live in
a very tribal Society very polarized Etc
and although this isn’t I don’t think
nearly as important as some of the
political Strife we’re feeling uh it
still is a moment where when when I was
when when my stair step method which I’m
very sure is awesome I’ve timed it I’ve
done races with it I’ve I’ve done a lot
of things to make sure that what I’m
teaching is the most efficient and
effective way of doing long form
narration and and doing so in a way that
makes sense um I’ve been I’ve been
attacked and I felt very very uh weird
about it and it took me a while to
figure all this out but I just figure I
I have other Hills to die on and I’ll
just be like okay I I read once uh
somebody said a great way to stop
somebody who’s attacking you is to just
say you know what you may be right
you’re not saying they are right you’re
saying they may be right and that really
pisses them off so anyway let me know in
the comments below if you have anything
you want to say about this because it
can be a really tough thing mentally for
some people to do uh also make sure you
hit the like button uh on these episodes
forward them to another
artists that you think might want to
hear this you can subscribe to the
channel uh you can hit the like button
until it’s it’s till it’s blue in the
face if you want and like these episodes
I’d really appreciate it if you did I’m
David H Lawrence the 17th I thank you so
much for watching and for listening and
I will see you in the next episode of
the vo Heroes
podcast
(from YouTube)
RIGHT ON DAVID! There’s enough of that “you’re wrong ’cause I think this way and I’m always right” mentality these days and people need to LIGHTEN UP! By the way, as a graduate of your Master Class, I think your “stair step” method is a stroke of genius. It helps to keep track of the edits and it definitely speeds up the editing process. Thank-you!
I remember when you came to my defense on a FB ACX group regarding whether to make corrections to an audiobook after the whole thing was recorded or after each chapter had been recorded. I opted for the latter, and the ones who opted for the former were all over me like white on rice. You very graciously stuck up for me, and when it became clear that we weren’t going to change any minds, you commented to me “You do what you do”.
There comes a point where, like Pontius Pilate, you have to wash your hands of the whole matter. They’re gonna do what they do, and if it works for them that’s fine. I know that I got good training, and I know that what I learned works quite nicely, even if I can’t always do it as well as I like. They wanna keep arguing? Fine. Not me. I don’t have that long to live.
You button on the scene of hills to die on is great. I also like to quote “Tootsie” (” I am not going to get sucked into this conversation. I will not.”) and there’s the classic “Whatever”. If it keeps me sane and I don’t have to reach for the Tums, it works.
May you ALWAYS do what you do. It works.
Thanks, David, so true! I think this attitude by others who ‘need’ everyone else to see/go their way as being the only ‘right’ way appears today in so many walks of life. I must try to remember your phrase ‘You know, you may be right’ next time I experience such hassle (online or offline!). Life is too short for the arguments such people appear to relish.
I find this topic to be fascinating. As a child, I was taught regarding bullies and playground taunters to “just ignore them; they’ll go away”. In person, that can be a difficult thing to do. But it is the ultimate power we have online, and perhaps the easiest to wield. So I say forget about YOLO and FOMO; get on board with DWWFY!*
*Do what works for you — I pronounce it “dwiffie”
Well said…thank you!
It always helps me to remember that people who have to attack what my choices are must be insecure in their beliefs and practices. Many people are afraid of any kind of change or any new idea; as this means they need to change their mind or behavior and they are unwilling to do that.
Interesting and thought provoking, for sure. Thank you, David, for always inspiring and encouraging thought.
I support your position 100%. I’m curious what your thoughts would be if someone asks me directly what kind of microphone do I use and do I use punch and roll? For all the reasons you just described, I would not want to say I’m using a usb mic or that I’m using the stair step method. But what do I say so that I don’t sound evasive, or cause them to dismiss me as not professional?
It saddens me that you don’t want to say what you use. I hope someday you’ll be able to say it proudly, and if and when I do, I add “And it works great for me.” You don’t need to respond to any criticism or try to change their mind.
I’m worried about getting passed over for a job if I say I use a usb mic.
David, one of your ‘jobs’ is that of teacher! You run the VOHero school and teach, from factual knowledge. I, for one, am very grateful for the ‘stair-step method’ and the AT2020… being your student who is using them on my very first audiobook…And it All Works wonderfully… Just like you taught. When did our culture start having to ‘shame’ ‘argue’ ‘fight’ teachers, friends, family if we had a different viewpoint? I recall people just having a different opinion…but with respect. Thanks for the reminder David to be Kind…no matter what.
So well said, David! You have brought so much in the way of methodology, equipment, and mind set to those of us that recognize the value.
I’ve done a bunch of consulting on script development and found two caveats to work well for me: 1) I always ask if the person wants my feedback, and, if they don’t, I won’t give it, and 2) I always make it clear that this is one person’s perspective and they should only use the feedback if it’s useful.
You have changed lives (mine included) with your training. You can live proudly on that hill. No need, as you have said, to be insulted by those who won’t listen.
David…so many people these days are “right fighters” and aren’t open to listening to multiple ways of doing things. While they definitely take a toll on your mental health, there are so many more people that truly appreciate the tools, processes and efficiencies you’ve shared to make them successful in the business and the guidance you’ve provided has been invaluable.
I am neurodivergent and my brain processes information differently than the normal person. For me, any organizational tip or tool that I don’t have to come up with and visualize is gold. As I am learning through your videos, these are very ND friendly whether you knew that or not and the information is easy to process. I haven’t learned your “stair step” method yet, however, I would highly recommend putting those videos into the Labs section as least, so, we still have the option to take the training the way you visualized it (originally) and learn the most efficient methods that made you successful over the years. Thank you!
Yes! This! I don’t have much to add that hasn’t already been said. I have most definitely experienced this. And it’s even worse when that other person is a narcissist to boot.