13162: Self-Care And The Hills You Choose To Die On

Hey there, hero!

Taking care of ourselves is paramount – as actors, voice talent, writers and other creatives, we don’t have an office infirmary and an in-person support community when we are in need of self-care.

And one area where your personal mental and physical health can be threatened is when you choose to disagree with someone’s point of view…especially in online communication.

The anonymity of social media emboldens some to take very big liberties with the basics of good manners – we can be attacked from many angles without the ability to defend ourselves (or sometimes even know who is doing the attacking).

But rest assured that when you make a commitment to a tool or process, something that you know works for you, know that you can feel so much better by choosing to ignore the attacks altogether.

Don’t respond at all if it’s going to cause you grief. Just…move on.

I’ll give you some basic self-care choices you can make to move on and feel sooooo much better.

Does this make sense? Do you enjoy the power of deciding not to engage? Let me know in the comments below.

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  1. RIGHT ON DAVID! There’s enough of that “you’re wrong ’cause I think this way and I’m always right” mentality these days and people need to LIGHTEN UP! By the way, as a graduate of your Master Class, I think your “stair step” method is a stroke of genius. It helps to keep track of the edits and it definitely speeds up the editing process. Thank-you!

  2. I remember when you came to my defense on a FB ACX group regarding whether to make corrections to an audiobook after the whole thing was recorded or after each chapter had been recorded. I opted for the latter, and the ones who opted for the former were all over me like white on rice. You very graciously stuck up for me, and when it became clear that we weren’t going to change any minds, you commented to me “You do what you do”.

    There comes a point where, like Pontius Pilate, you have to wash your hands of the whole matter. They’re gonna do what they do, and if it works for them that’s fine. I know that I got good training, and I know that what I learned works quite nicely, even if I can’t always do it as well as I like. They wanna keep arguing? Fine. Not me. I don’t have that long to live.

    You button on the scene of hills to die on is great. I also like to quote “Tootsie” (” I am not going to get sucked into this conversation. I will not.”) and there’s the classic “Whatever”. If it keeps me sane and I don’t have to reach for the Tums, it works.

    May you ALWAYS do what you do. It works.

    1. Thanks, David, so true! I think this attitude by others who ‘need’ everyone else to see/go their way as being the only ‘right’ way appears today in so many walks of life. I must try to remember your phrase ‘You know, you may be right’ next time I experience such hassle (online or offline!). Life is too short for the arguments such people appear to relish.

  3. I find this topic to be fascinating. As a child, I was taught regarding bullies and playground taunters to “just ignore them; they’ll go away”. In person, that can be a difficult thing to do. But it is the ultimate power we have online, and perhaps the easiest to wield. So I say forget about YOLO and FOMO; get on board with DWWFY!*

    *Do what works for you — I pronounce it “dwiffie”

  4. It always helps me to remember that people who have to attack what my choices are must be insecure in their beliefs and practices. Many people are afraid of any kind of change or any new idea; as this means they need to change their mind or behavior and they are unwilling to do that.
    Interesting and thought provoking, for sure. Thank you, David, for always inspiring and encouraging thought.

  5. I support your position 100%. I’m curious what your thoughts would be if someone asks me directly what kind of microphone do I use and do I use punch and roll? For all the reasons you just described, I would not want to say I’m using a usb mic or that I’m using the stair step method. But what do I say so that I don’t sound evasive, or cause them to dismiss me as not professional?

    1. It saddens me that you don’t want to say what you use. I hope someday you’ll be able to say it proudly, and if and when I do, I add “And it works great for me.” You don’t need to respond to any criticism or try to change their mind.

  6. David, one of your ‘jobs’ is that of teacher! You run the VOHero school and teach, from factual knowledge. I, for one, am very grateful for the ‘stair-step method’ and the AT2020… being your student who is using them on my very first audiobook…And it All Works wonderfully… Just like you taught. When did our culture start having to ‘shame’ ‘argue’ ‘fight’ teachers, friends, family if we had a different viewpoint? I recall people just having a different opinion…but with respect. Thanks for the reminder David to be Kind…no matter what.

  7. So well said, David! You have brought so much in the way of methodology, equipment, and mind set to those of us that recognize the value.

    I’ve done a bunch of consulting on script development and found two caveats to work well for me: 1) I always ask if the person wants my feedback, and, if they don’t, I won’t give it, and 2) I always make it clear that this is one person’s perspective and they should only use the feedback if it’s useful.

    You have changed lives (mine included) with your training. You can live proudly on that hill. No need, as you have said, to be insulted by those who won’t listen.

  8. David…so many people these days are “right fighters” and aren’t open to listening to multiple ways of doing things. While they definitely take a toll on your mental health, there are so many more people that truly appreciate the tools, processes and efficiencies you’ve shared to make them successful in the business and the guidance you’ve provided has been invaluable.

    I am neurodivergent and my brain processes information differently than the normal person. For me, any organizational tip or tool that I don’t have to come up with and visualize is gold. As I am learning through your videos, these are very ND friendly whether you knew that or not and the information is easy to process. I haven’t learned your “stair step” method yet, however, I would highly recommend putting those videos into the Labs section as least, so, we still have the option to take the training the way you visualized it (originally) and learn the most efficient methods that made you successful over the years. Thank you!

  9. Yes! This! I don’t have much to add that hasn’t already been said. I have most definitely experienced this. And it’s even worse when that other person is a narcissist to boot.