Let’s Welcome To The Stage…Failure!
Short and sweet today…I want to talk about the fear of failure. And so, let’s.
And not just the fear of failure itself, and the emotions failure can generate, but also what to think about failure instead, and the value it can provide. Hopefully, I can give you an alternative value for the failures we face in life.
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Hope this helps!
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hey there it’s David H Lawrence the 17th
and today short and sweet I got
something that has been kind of a
recurring theme over the last few days
and some of the things that I’ve been
reading online some of the emails that
I’ve been getting from people and no
notes on this per se but just sort of
something I want to bring to your
attention you’re familiar with the
famous quote from Franklin Delano
Roosevelt in one of his speeches when he
was president when he was talking about
the depression and the New Deal and our
place in the world he said a quote that
almost everybody knows and kind of goes
yeah you’re absolutely right absolutely
and he said the only thing we have to
fear is fear itself and I think that’s
an important quote to remember when we
think about this recurring theme that I
want to share with you and that is this
fear of failure
we did a live online series called the
believed series in 2018 where I was
online every day for 21 days live with
video helping people replace limiting
beliefs with enabling beliefs beliefs
that held us back with beliefs that
helped propel us forward and one of the
recurring themes in that series was the
fear of failure and failure in general
as a negative thing now look I get that
you probably don’t want to fail I don’t
want to fail who wants to fail right but
it’s a lot easier to swallow a failure
and it’s even something to kind of be
joyous about to be gratified with they
have some gratitude about because
failure itself I don’t think is
something to be feared in most cases now
if you’re trying to save somebody’s life
failure is bad without a doubt but just
as in that case and in every other case
where you’re going to fail you’re going
to learn something you’re going to learn
more about what not to do
you’re more maybe learn about what you
should have done or could have done
failure is one of the most crazy
concepts to deal with because yeah it’s
a negative to fail you’re successful
positive you don’t want to put failures
on a resume right but what you do want
to be able to do is to discuss what
happened when you failed how you dealt
with it how you learned from it and I
really have learned to welcome failure
in my life when it happens I’m not
looking to create failure but when it
happens I look at it almost as valuable
if not more valuable than some successes
I think that the successes that you
achieve when you already know how to do
something they’re to be expected when
you don’t know how to do something or
you’re getting better at doing something
or you’re feeling at sea or risky with
this process and you don’t know quite
what to do
failure can help clarify those things
and so just real quick I want you to
think about this and potentially
consider it it’s hard because it’s
counterintuitive but I want you to
consider that failure should be welcomed
not celebrated and say let’s go crazy
when you fail but when you have a
failure look for the lessons look for
the things that you can learn look for
the things that you can do better next
time to succeed and you’ll start to look
at failure as one of those things that
is just simply going to happen but
instead of being all depressed about it
and horrified by it look at it as a
learning experience and you’ll see the
fear lessening and then all you need to
worry about is figure itself and we’re
gonna deal with that in an upcoming
video for sure probably dozens of times
I’m wondering if that’s something that
resonates with you tell me what you
think in the comments below what do you
think about failure what how do you feel
when you fail how do you feel when you
succeed do you have a little tiny bit of
you that says okay I failed what did I
or what didn’t I do or what could I do
or what will I do next time let me know
in the comments below because I’d really
like to get this conversation going if
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up there I’m David H Lawrence 217th I
really appreciate you watching and I’ll
see you tomorrow.
Yeah, you can’t take failure as an indicator that it characterizes me. Losing a job doesn’t make you “a failure.” It only makes you more experienced than *before* you failed! Learn, and get stronger!
Fear of failure!!!!! Brings up ” The feeling” I can,t do it” “I don’t,t know how to” I am overcome with the feeling of helplessness,hopelessness and the feeling is deeply wedged in my body.. I revert back to the feelings of a very young child who has no control of its responses and no nurturing parent or adult to see me through, ask me questions.. I have learnt to survive, but not to thrive. I am learning to mother and father this inner child, but skills are limited to the teaching and learning that I experience now. It is a slow process. the fear continues to rear it,s fearful face. Thank you David, for asking the question.
I constantly stop and start doing things that are “new” to me. I doubt I’m doing the right things. Your video reminded me that if I’m nevery “failing” I’m not growing or trying new things. Not failing is a bad thing. Thanks David.
David I used to fear failure when I thought It was unjust. I now can feel the pain of someone else’s loss or failure. I still am haunted by reviewing my many failures more than I should, however I know that there is always something to be learned from them and that keeps the glass half full, the window ajar, the door open! If you were to review my life’s story one could label it as a failure. Why then am I taking this leap of faith again in myself, because I know that I love what I do and the impossible dream is still alive. http://www.clarkable.net
David, once again you have raised an excellent point for discussion and thought. You are so right about not fearing failure, but learning from it and accepting it. Brings to mind when I was learning to ski many years ago, my sister told me not to fear falling down as that is where you learn more than just standing on your skis. I have learned a lot from my failures in the past, and look on them as learning experiences, not failures. Yet the perfectionist in me still hates the thought of failure…probably pretty common. Thank you for broaching this “uncomfortable” subject.
Thank you for all your video’s. Failure hmmmmmm! I may be the odd bird here, I don’t take failure as a OMG! I did t get it! I am sad for a moment and then try to move forward. I’m not sure I really u dersta d the WHY’s as there are so many. I do t fear failure , I do t like it but I’m not sure I have disected the process. I usually shrug it off and onto the next opportunity. Am I missing out on an opportunity to learn. I’m not judgemental so I figure they saw something in someone else. This industry sometmes is all about failure, favorites, timing, Luck, etc.
Your thoughts are appreciated. Heather
That’s one of the best descriptions of how to view failure, especially as a performer, that I’ve seen!
I look at failure kind of the way you do. I was educated (granted I ran out of money and had to leave after my first year) as an artist in two and three dimensional media – paint and sculpture. Failure is the only way to learn your craft in art school because until you train your brain to the concepts of those media, your failure is a given in most of the projects you start. Also failure means not only the you learned but that YOU DID. How many people sit and think, I wish I could…. and then don’t because of fear of one kind or another? Failure means you actually DID whatever it is at which you failed which in itself is a gorgeous blessing in itself. You DID and maybe it didn’t work the way you had hoped, but if you don’t ask and you don’t try you have Failed to Do, which is even more of a tragedy.
I fear failure off and on. Sometimes I jump right in with no fear and go for it. Other times, I become frozen with a fear that isn’t clear. It just holds me back from starting. Once I start I’m usually good to go and can work through any roadblocks. It is that starting point that is unknown and seems scary. Most of the time it isn’t. I have a huge project that I’ve put off for 2 years now that I just need to start.
“If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.”
Thomas J. Watson, founder of IBM.
Fear of failure brings up another limiting belief….”I’d rather play small than play big and fail.” When it comes down to it, the reason why I love performing and telling stories is bc I can be as big as I want to be. The more I learn to not fear what I love….the more I can welcome the failures with BIG open arms for the better. It’s easier said than done, but as I incorporate your advice to make bolder choices faster, I find that I am becoming more comfortable woh and even having a little bit of dare I say…fun…failing. My most recent example of this was making a bold character choice in my first audiobook. I had to voice an alien. And even though I had to re do all of the chapters he spoke in due to some clarity issues…once I found his voice was when I really started having fun with the book.
Failure may not be the correct term. I have viewed failure as, to paraphrase Thomas Edison, finding another way how not to do something. Actors especially take not getting a role as failure. Unless you are actively sabotaging an audition, you are not failing. You are simply not what they were looking for. this applies to other aspects in life and it is, to me, much easier to adopt the feeling that I am not failing but not what the other person is looking for.
I can see that past failures have stopped me and made me give up something I wanted to accomplish. Should keep going, but first learn from it so as not to repeat.