Excise The Haters

Hey there, hero!

I want to concentrate over the last videos I do in this series about things you can safely get rid of.

It’s kind of the “do less of what doesn’t [work]” part of my definition of success.

Today, I want you to cut the haters off at the pass.

Hope this helps!

David

Responses

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  1. I remember seeing a book once with a title that has stuck with me. I haven’t read the book, but the title alone is right on this point: “No One Can Drive You Crazy Unless You Give Them The Keys” (IIRC). But it does take a lot of courage and wisdom to be able to recognize when your abilities and knowledge are at a place where you can reliably discern sour grapes versus good advice.

  2. David, I live in a small, very quiet town (Middlebury CT) (pop. 7,700) and I get to work with clients from my voice booth that’s 3 steps away from my workstation. I start my days with your optimistic messages and the one about getting rid of the haters really rang my bell. There’s so much negative info pouring out of tvs, the internet and social media and INTO people’s minds I’m surprised most of us can get through our days. My own relatives load me up with the horrible stories that are “making the news” each day and then get pissed off because I either don’t respond or in some cases have to block them. I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve given these “hate baiters” way too much time in my life lately and vow to purge my friends list of people who are nothing to me but time vampires. Thanks for the reminder to clean house. Thom Varhol

  3. I guess the corollary to this is getting rid of the self-haters inside our own heads. I know that I’ve unconsciously kept haters around me sometimes because they are mirroring my own inner self-judgements, self-dissatisfactions, etc.

  4. Thanks David. This is a good message and one I have used. I have much more peace. Once I decided to make this a practice, it meant hanging up the phone on a loved one when the call became toxic. It didn’t take too long for the person to change their behavior on the phone knowing I wasn’t going to listen to garbage. In public, I will either step away from the conversation or attempt to redirect to a different subject depending on the situation.

  5. I “cut” a friend of long standing because they became completely negative, angry and full of self pity. I tried to help, but I am not a psychologist and finally gave up. I actually feel a little better, but also a little guilty.

  6. Thank you so much for this David. I was just recovering from an unpleasant interaction with a hater, and this video was just what I needed to uplift me.

  7. A “friend,” and occasional colleague has on several occasions (wittingly or unwittingly made remarks in front of me and in the company of others in the business that have undercut my professional reputation and relationships. In addition, every conversation devolves into a monologue about his latest audition, callback, job, or self-described brilliant performance. The last time I saw him, without any prompting on my part, the same pattern emerged – without so much as a greeting, after delivering a lengthy list of his latest accomplishments he finally got around to asking me what was new. I told him that my mother had passed away. His response was something along the lines of “Oh, yeah – I heard that…sorry.” He then launched into another iteration of his latest resume. That was the last straw. Although remaining pleasant and civil, right then and there I decided to cut him out of my circle of friends. This is the first time in memory that I have done something like this, and it feels empowering…

  8. I will listen to this video 1000 times. Spot on and so true. I agree that we need to be like a tree and drop the dead leaves. Thank you as always! Fan-freakin-tastic!