A Great Way To Handle Trolls and Haters

Photo by T. Chick McClure on Unsplash

Hey there!

A friend asked me recently how I handle haters. I asked what was happening with him, and he related a story of how a woman he knew fairly well in real life, felt slighted by an innocent event, and began taking out her anger with him in vicious posts on social media.

I shared with him the true secret of dealing with haters and trolls.

Hope this helps!



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  1. I had a face-to-face trolling kind of event with a customer at my Hideous Survival Job. I’ve known him for years outside of the gig, and he has never liked me from day one (the reasons are just too long to go into here). One day he comes into my store to pick up some cough drops and the paper, and he’s drunk (this is in the late morning or so). While I’m ringing out his purchases, he’s quietly berating me. Each time he says something to me, I give it back to him at the same soft volume, but without the vitriol. Finally, he goes for the F Bomb. I reply with a line I remembered from a Live Journal entry I’d once read: “Only if we can cuddle latter.” He was so flummoxed by answer that he said that he’d hoped that he’d see me outside the store (I’m 6’2″, and this guy is bigger than me in a lot of ways). I’d had enough. I went into my best Michael Keaton Batman voice, dropped the pitch of my voice down about a 5th and said to him without blinking, “You’d better hope to God that you NEVER see me outside the store…” He apologized the next time he was in the store, and this time he was sober.

    I killed him with kindness until it had no effect, and then I went darker. Usually the kindness works, but when it doesn’t, I gently fight back. Like you always say, do more of what works and less of what doesn’t. Or as George Martin used to say, “Horses for courses”.

  2. Excellent topic today David!!!
    I’m still hanging in there with you. Haven’t missed a video yet. I think this topic is something we all have to deal with from time to time.

    With most trolls and haters, I ignore them and move on. It’s seems easier, as some people just “get off” on the keyboard warrior thing. I will never understand why.
    Not too long ago, I had an instance of someone I knew going troll on me, or so I thought. The strange thing about the written word (texts, comments, etc.) is that the intention can sometimes be hard to figure out, or easy to misinterpret.

    A post can be read in different tones that can make it seem either normal conversation, or seem terrible. In this instance, I read the text with the “bad tone” in my head. It bugged me enough I finally decided to respond.

    I did exactly as you suggested in this video and went for the “kill em with kindness” angle…and I’m sure glad I did.

    I had misinterpreted the intention completely, and If I had fired the shot across the bow, I may have damaged a good relationship. As it was, the conversation carried on in normal fashion, and I was saved the embarrassment and consequence of jumping to conclusions and losing a friend.

    Another point to make is the other type of passive aggressive text or post, that says negative things, and then ends the line with LOL. I suppose this is a way of stating a positive intention, while saying something possibly unflattering or negative. I’m never sure how to deal with that one, so I ignore it as well, because it’s really hard to figure out.

    Again, Great topic. Thanks for the videos!! 43 more and you are halfway there.

  3. You could also ask a lot of questions with a very kind tone. “Why does that upset you? What do you think that means?” The wrong question can certainly be insulting but sometimes they actually get tripped up because they have to think about what they’re saying. They may even realize how stupid they’re acting and stop doing it Thanks for the video David.