13150: It’s Not Just OK To Say No, It’s Great To Say No.
Hey there, hero!
You get a lot of choices in life, and some you very much want to take advantage of.
Others, not so much. Some are a hard “no.”
Especially if you don’t feel qualified or up to the task.
As a coach, there can be a tendency to not want to be perceived as anything less than a superman. That you’re capable of anything and helping anyone.
And I can tell you that this can apply to you as an actor or voice talent. We are encouraged to be as inclusive in our roles and auditions as we can.
I can also tell you that the more you qualify yourself (without being overly self-judgy) the better you’ll do at the things you end up saying yes to.
But when you say no to something, how does that make you feel? Do you feel good, or do you feel FOMO? Let me know in the comments below.
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Raw transcript:
Raw transcript:
you’ve likely heard the phrase jack of
all trades master of none I think
sometimes we tend to assume that role
when we’re afraid of what people will
think of us if we say no guess what it’s
okay to say No in fact it’s great to say
no and we’ll talk about that in this
episode of the vo Heroes
podcast I just had something happen that
I want wanted to share with you uh
because it happens from time to time and
it’s illustrative of the concept of
knowing your strengths playing to your
strengths and not being afraid to say no
I had a a an appointment for a private
coaching session with a client and
within a few minutes of starting the
session it was clear that what she
needed was an improv coach it was for a
voiceover uh job but it was an improv
improv thing that she was concerned
about not the actual uh she’s she’s
excellent she’s great it wasn’t the
actual part but they wanted them to
improv a version of all of the things in
the uh in the in the audition and so I
said you know I’m not the right guy for
this
and there are some people
who coaches uh who are afraid that if
they were to say okay look I know you
paid me already uh let me just forward
this money off to the guy who really can
help you I happen to have have a friend
who’s awesome you guys know him uh
Nathan Clark um who’s awesome at at
coaching improv both on camera and on
mic let me um let me get you to him see
if he’s available which he happened to
be which was great it all worked out
and she was so sweet she posted uh on
Twitter hey you should have a coach like
this nice job or class app or something
like that who’s willing to say I’m not
the right guy for you uh here’s who you
should talk to and to me it seems as
though
that’s brain dead
simple why would you want to
potentially impact someone’s ability to
get the job done just because you don’t
want to say I’m not the right guy or I’m
not the right girl for you it is
imperative that you understand your
strengths and it’s imperative that
you’re okay with and at peace with
saying No this includes not only when
people say hey can you do this without
you going oh yeah sure because we’re
trained as actors to go no no I can do
anything I can whatever you want I can
do it’s no problem I can do it
four-year-old Chinese girl that’s me
look at me right but you don’t want to
do that you want to know what your lanes
are especially when somebody else’s
success uccess is on the
line and especially when your success is
on the line why not just say no thank
you I appreciate it I don’t think I’m
the right one for you uh do it
judiciously you know don’t do it because
you’re afraid of the
results if you aren’t sure if you can do
this try it see if it works but if
you’re dead sure no I’m not the right
one here uh but I do know uh how I can
help you I do know somebody who is or if
you don’t know just say I’m not the
right one but don’t be afraid to say no
to an opportunity
um doing so with the right uh placement
in your heart and the right placement in
your brain as opposed to working from a
moment of fear it wasn’t like I was
fearful of not giving her improv
coaching it’s just not what I do and so
uh it it applies also to our jobs you
know sometimes people um get a an
audition or they get an opportunity and
they don’t want to do it or they don’t
feel their best at doing it or they
simply prefer not to do it it’s okay to
say no and it doesn’t mean that no one
will ever hire you again because you
said oh my God that guy he said no I’m
not gonna no he no what do you mean no
this is performance you don’t get jobs
ever in performance what do you mean no
that’s not how it
works just have the faith in yourself
that you’re pushing you’re expanding
you’re you’re reaching you’re pushing
yourself to expand your boundaries and
to find new things to be good at but if
it’s clearly not something that is right
for you feel free to say no and have
faith in the fact that that happens all
the time and it’s par for the course and
you can do that it’s not a
problem here let me write you a
permission slip I I’ll get to it after
the podcast uh if you uh if you want hit
the like button uh I’d love to hear your
comments on this uh you can subscribe to
the channel uh you can hit the
notification Bell there’s all kinds of
things you can do I don’t want to give
you a job but there are and we’d love to
hear your comments over at vooh
heroes.com if you know of an actor that
might want to say no more often and just
doesn’t feel the urge to it you want to
forward this to them just copy and paste
the uh address bar and forward it off to
them in an email or a text or whatever
you want to do I’m David H Lawrence the
17th I thank you so much for watching
and for listening and I will see you in
the next episode of the Vo
podcast
(from YouTube)
This was perfect timing… I recently said “no” to a job offer that could have been great; however, the pay was substantially less than my current position. It wasn’t a VO job, but the no is still hard… Sometimes “no” is the right answer for the moment. Thank you for all of your insights!
Hello David,
Thank you so much for your personal honesty story. It is so refreshing and appreciated.
Don’t try to be everything for everyone. It won’t work.
For me, I was so used to rejection that I almost said “No” because the gig seemed daunting. I didn’t think I could do it, but told myself that this was exactly why I’d been auditioning so much. I’d always been saying “Someday, I’ll get an offer and get this career on track.” and the next morning I woke up and realized that today was Someday! It was my very first audio book. I’d been auditioning for a full year and the offer to do a small series came out of the blue. I recognized that my impulse to say “No” came out of lack of confidence, and fear of the unknown and of failure. A year, and 8 books later, with 2 more to finish, I’m really glad I didn’t say “No”.