I Hate Being Late. Here’s How I Avoid It.

hey there hero it’s David H Lawrence the
17th and I have a I have something to
confess and that is that for all of the
the guidance and suggestions and and
support that I give you about self-talk
and positivity there are times that I
really get down on myself and I’ve
noticed that one of the most common
times when I do that the most obvious
times is when for some reason I am late
for an appointment when I am late for a
meeting or a lunch or a you know
certainly casting can drive me a little
crazy I take a great deal of points
never to be late for that but when I am
it just drives me a little nuts and I
have to sit in my car or sit after the
event and I have to go over it in my
head and act to deal with it I’m rarely
late like I would say one out of 200
times because I take so much care about
making sure that I fool myself and I pad
my time and I want to talk about this in
a second but I feel this way I think
because it feels disrespectful to me it
feels like I’m not respecting somebody
else’s schedule and the funny thing is
when other people are late in meeting me
it doesn’t really bother me all that
much I mean I’d like them to be on time
because I’d like to have more time to
spend with them but I get how sometimes
things are completely out of our control
but I went looking for reasons why I
feel the way I do and I went down a
rabbit hole a few days ago with all
kinds of articles and all kinds of
videos and all kinds of resources and
stuff on being late and I’ve had a book
sitting in my library for a long time by
Deanna Dillon’s or called never be late
again and I’ve read it
a couple of times and I’m like okay
that’s not me that’s not me but this
time I went back through it because she
describes some things that maybe
unfortunately apply to you or someone
that you know and you can’t fix it right
so it’s a two-step process for me anyway
it’s just a little two-step it’s like a
little two-step dance right and the
two-step is find out why right dig in
and find out why you are late if you’re
chronically late if you’re always late
if you have decided to wear this badge
of oh I’m always late I’m so sorry Bob
and you’re making light of it or you’re
dismissing it as something everybody
does not everybody does that right and
again I’m not trying to be accusatory
towards you but maybe there’s somebody
in your life that if you understand this
you might be able to help them with it
if they’re open to it so dig into why
you’re late maybe it’s just a simple you
think it takes ten minutes to get from
where you’re going to where it’s gonna
be and it just simply doesn’t it looks
like it might but it doesn’t you have to
you know open your front door and lock
the door and make sure you have all your
stuff and it’s a longer walk than you
think it is or it’s a longer Drive than
you think it is it might just be a lack
of knowledge of time and space and and
you know we have this image in our head
it can’t be that long you know or you
underestimate things that you don’t have
any control over like traffic or weather
or you know in our business other things
that come up for both you and others it
also might be unfortunately a complete
lack of respect for others or a
positioning of yourself as being more
important than others or a declaration
of war on being controlled by somebody
else and their schedule you’re not going
to be told to be where when and when you
show up late that’s another notch in
your belt where you’ve stuck it to the
man
or the woman or whoever and if it’s you
if it’s somebody else if you notice this
sort of thing and you can realize that
that’s actually why you’re doing it
whether it’s a lack of understanding of
time and space or a an issue of
disrespect or of sticking it to the man
once you know that then you can do
something about it so the second step in
the two step first step is dig in figure
out what is causing this and the second
step can be nothing else but fix it now
that sounds a lot simpler than it can be
for people that are challenged by being
late the first thing that happened to me
was I lost some opportunities very early
in life because I wasn’t cognizant of
time I lost an opportunity to work at a
radio station I lost an opportunity to
do a an industrial film because I just
didn’t understand the amount of time
that was needed to to get to some place
the amount of time that was needed to
prepare for things mm-hmm but eventually
I figured that out and I fixed it I
figured out in my head that I was under
estimating things that were pretty
easily measurable how long does this was
the long before the days of Google Maps
where we tell you how long it’s gonna
take you right now to get from here to
wherever you’re going including traffic
including you know backups including
construction including the weather that
wasn’t the case in when I first you know
started working in the business right
and if you find out how to pad things
even if you have to go to the point of
fooling yourself like I’m going to be 20
minutes early so that I’m never late you
know we think well if I waste all that
time sitting there waiting why why would
I do that well you’ve got a smart phone
you can still do work on your smart
phone or your iPad or your computer
while you’re waiting and it gives you a
bias for action you’ve heard me talk
about a bias fraction a lot of times
doing it so that you don’t have to worry
about being late there are gonna be
times when the best laid plans are are
completely destroyed by things that you
have no control over you know you start
off Google Maps says it’s gonna take you
half an hour to get there and ten
minutes into your trip a huge accident
occurs on the freeway and you’re backed
up for an hour there’s nothing you can
do about that you could have left an
hour early and it wouldn’t have been
helpful right so get that I understand
that but if you simply don’t care or if
you resent being on time you resent
being part of somebody else’s this is
what you’re gonna do taking instructions
for somebody or being on their timetable
about creating an appointment and
keeping it or if you feel guilty about
being late in the past and again I’m
gonna say it again
I’m not necessarily talking about you
maybe somebody near you or just like you
or in your circle of friends or family
you don’t want to change things because
then that would add to like now I’m able
to do it but before I was a failure
right and work to be more responsible
not only to others but to yourself if
you figure that if I’m on time I’m just
cow telling to somebody else’s demands
let’s find out why that belief which is
a limiting belief let’s find out why
that belief exists let’s figure out why
that rule set is something that you
follow in life and let’s change that to
an enabling belief because whether you
know it or not it’s holding you back
it’s retarding your growth its stunting
your movement on your journey and when
you’re able to pad your time even if you
fool yourself set an alarm
don’t let the alarm have a snooze
function whatever it is that you do to
move back your beginning motions
towards going to the event right instead
of leaving with ten minutes to spare
leave with 20 minutes to spare and see
if that makes a difference if it doesn’t
leave with 30 minutes to spare because
clearly you’re not estimating things
properly the point is this is such a
fixable thing and when you do it this is
the hidden gem you’re actually doing
yourself a huge favor a huge service
because now instead of being viewed by
others as somebody who is not dependable
somebody who is disrespectful somebody
who is declaring independence right and
we’re going to talk about this in an
upcoming video because actors performers
in general they have this pension for
declaring independence from the entire
rest of society instead of being viewed
like that you’re now being viewed as
dependable and being viewed as rock
solid and being viewed as trustworthy or
not being viewed as either which is just
as good as being viewed as responsible
if nobody really thinks about the fact
that you’re late all the time or like
nobody notices that I’m usually waiting
for them when they show up to a lunch
engagement or to a meeting I’m usually
waiting in the lobby for them to come
out and get me or whatever I’m never
making them wait that’s my goal right I
don’t think most people notice that I
don’t care that they do I know that it
helps me keep a level head and I’m still
a work in progress I’m still working on
the facts when it just fails when it
just fails I mean you know I talked
earlier about the the the problem with
my teaching at The Groundlings this year
where I had put in my calendar when I
was in a different time zone what time
the event was and it was not appearing
properly and I got a phone call saying
hey where are you oh right I was
crestfallen it was awful I hope this
helps and if you’re always on time good
for you I’m really happy for you
help others pull them along help them
help them be make the world a better
place
right let me know what you think
about this do you think I’m preaching at
you do you think I’m like taking me to
task that’s not my point
it’s not what I want I really just want
to help let me know in the comments
below if this is something that you
struggle with and if you’d like to be on
my list I’d love to have you you can
take your time about it you can do it
whenever you want or you can do it right
now just look for the box below at the
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list get on the list and then I’ll let
you know when these videos come out and
I would love to have you on my list and
I’d love to be able to help you with
your career I’m David H Lawrence the
seventeenth I thank you so much for
watching and I will talk to you tomorrow.