That RBF You’re Layering Meaning On. Yeah. Probably Not What You Think.

hey there it’s David H Lawrence the 17th
I just I just spoke with a friend of
mine who went in for a job interview and
he was really really upset because he
felt like he totally blew it
he felt like even though and this is
important even though they were saying
things like wow that was that was really
great and are you interested in the job
with what what’s your level of interest
do you have an idea of what kind of
compensation you’re looking for when can
you start when would you be available
now they weren’t offering him the job it
was but clearly what he came away with
was yeah I was sitting there and like
I swear to God I thought at one point
the guy yawned and stretched and
basically didn’t want me in the room
and I’m like what do you know about this
guy and he goes oh well I mean we have
mutual friends I’ve known for a long
time about this guy and you know I’ve
seen him around in the you know in the
industry that he works in this wasn’t an
actor this was this was somebody in the
consulting space and we’ve kind of
followed each other’s careers we knew
each other so it was kind of nice and I
said okay so what else do you know about
him well he you know he got married a
couple years ago and he just had kids
and I said he just had kids when did he
have kids and he said there they’re less
than a year old and I’m like and you
assumed that when he was yawning and
stretched that it was you and not his
kids is it possible that might not be
the case oh right and it was
illustrative of the idea that when we’re
in front of someone and they’re
comfortable with us right
they may have an RBF and if you don’t
know what an RBF is look it up resting
bitchface anyway they have this resting
face that may not be saying what you
think it is saying right I remember
maybe 20 years ago when satellites were
first big for feeding broadcast I went
to a comedy show where Harry Shearer was
the headliner and he had acquired all of
these minutes before somebody went live
as a talking head on a cable news
channel and they were sitting there
doing things like this
you
and they would do that waiting for their
moment to be on the air they were just
being themselves they were jet they know
so I ask you when you’ve gone in for
auditions occasionally a casting
director maybe even most of the time for
you if you know them and you have a
relationship they’re happy to see you
and you see that sort of friendly thing
happening and they’re more engaged and
sometimes they don’t sometimes you walk
into a studio to do a voiceover thing
and you’ve got an engineer that’s it or
a casting person that’s it and they’re
thinking about other things you know
they’re thinking about the person that
they chose to call in just before you
that was a real disappointment or
they’re thinking god I have to go to the
bathroom so bad and I just don’t have
time I’ve got six people waiting out
there and they’ve been waiting forever I
want to get I want to get them in or who
knows what they’re thinking maybe they
just had kids and they’re not getting
any sleep and maybe maybe they don’t
like you maybe they don’t but how likely
do you think that really is
because when we feel that way when we
don’t like someone is the first thing we
do make it obvious that that’s the case
or do we do we normally as human beings
try to hide no everything’s fine I’m
good no really don’t worry about me yeah
you’re fine you’re fine cuz we don’t
want to be that guy or that girl that
says yeah I don’t like you okay you’re
boring me to tears
we just nobody says that right there
they just they try I my point here in
this video is sometimes we layer meaning
onto the way somebody looks or even the
words they might say that could be taken
a number of different ways and because
we are at sea or we are uncomfortable or
not sure or aren’t quite as as expert at
something as we’d like or we’re handling
material that’s new to us or for a
million other reasons we’re unsure and
so the direct path from where we are
unsure to what their face looks like has
to be bad it has to be I’m telling you
it’s not I’m telling you that usually
it’s something else and it helps if you
remember that it helps if you think to
yourself you know charitably well maybe
other things are going on that make them
look like that or maybe that’s just how
they look when they’re happy I mean if I
were to sit here and go
what comes after that could code two
different ways watch
when is this going to end or
yeah no I get that completely I was just
sitting here thinking just how powerful
that actually is both from the same
origins so please know that as you begin
your journey or are in the middle of
your journey or are a seasoned
professional about your journey as a
performer don’t ascribe meaning to
somebody else’s resting bitchface that
means something bad for you because it’s
usually not the case it’s 99% not the
case I swear to you it’s not I wish you
could have seen this thing from Harry
sure because it wasn’t just one person
and then another person hid the whole
screen was filled with images of people
waiting to go on live on on network
television or on cable news shows and it
was hysterical because people were just
sitting there
just making the most nondescript dead
phases like they were conserving their
energy whatever it is my point is the
meaning that you’re probably giving that
RBF probably doesn’t exist is that
helpful that’s something that maybe you
worried about how somebody feels about
you or what’s on their face when you’re
talking to them even when you’re having
a conversation with them right um I I
wonder gimme let me know in the comments
below I’d love to know how this is
hitting you how this is this is landing
for you and if you’d like to if you’d
like to join my list I’d love to have
you today by the way is the first day
for registration for the new vo Heroes
the new vo Heroes curriculum for the new
year and if you go to viajeros comm
slash pro you’ll be able to see what
that’s all about and we’d love to have
you if you wanted to study with me but I
just wanted to share this whole resting
bitchface thing it just fascinates me
that that people are the kin that you
can let that get to you and I wanted to
try to help I hope I did anyway I’m
David H Lawrence 217th thanks so much
for watching talk to you tomorrow.