The NLP Outcome Frame – Question 3: Digging Deeper

hey there hero it’s David H Lawrence the
17th and a couple videos we’ve done now
on how to work your way through one
facet of neuro linguistic programming is
something I studied a few years ago
really has been helpful to me in terms
of my consulting my coaching my work I
actually made a big mistake with NLP NLP
helps you understand and clarify and
reduce conflict and tension and I
thought huh
I know NLP now maybe I’ll start
analyzing my characters and and help
them with their conflicts because all
characters have conflicts and when I
play a role I’m play boy was that a
mistake oh my gosh because when we’re
acting when we’re telling stories when
we’re on camera when we’re doing you
know dramatic or comedic series we don’t
want conflict resolution we want more
conflict because that’s what’s fun to
watch right we want people who are
trying to get something and can’t get it
or they overcome at the very last minute
not easy we don’t want to make it easy
so I stopped doing that and I started
actually started analyzing my scene
partners their characters you know not
them as actors but their characters so
that I could heighten the conflict that
my character was feeling I I found that
to be helpful anyway little Side Story
so we talked about the last couple of
videos we’ve talked about working our
way through the outcome frame which is a
series of questions that you ask
yourself when you want to resolve
something when you want to reduce
conflict when you want to get yourself
unstuck when you want to move from one
place in life to another place in life
and the first question that we asked was
a doozy what do you want or asking
yourself that question what do I want
you know sky’s the limit you know world
is your oyster what do you want and then
we talked about sort of clarifying that
so that it was something that you could
actually take action on and then the
second question in the outcome frame
second question that an NLP practitioner
would ask a client or that you can ask
yourself is what would having that do
for me and asking that again and again
and again until you get to the actual
core of why you want what you say you
want so the third question in the
outcome frame for me is just delicious
it’s just delicious it’s it’s like oh so
that’s what you want and this is what
you think that having that will do for
you if you get what you want this one
really forces you to face the situation
there’s a number of others that we won’t
get into that follow on and maybe I’ll
give you that as a bonus at the end of
this this this video one or two of those
but the third question is how will you
know you have it when you get it now in
some cases if the what do I want was
very specific well you’ll know you have
it when you acquire what you want I have
a better relationship with my agent or
with my kids or I have lost twenty
pounds or whatever it is that’s the way
you know what you want but the question
isn’t really how will you know you have
it when you get it about what you want
but it’s actually how will you know you
have it when you get it about what will
having that do for you so if you got to
the point with what well having that do
for you where it’s like oh I’ll be
healthy or I’ll feel safe or I’ll feel
loved or I’ll feel appreciated or I’ll
feel engaged I’ll feel excited I’ll feel
successful right how will you know you
have it when you get it
because sometimes we go for things we
create a path for ourselves maybe we get
some great coaching or consulting or
some great teaching that helps us move
down that path or at least in the right
direction and we don’t really know when
we’ve arrived we don’t realize this
happens to me all the time in our
workouts on vo heroes you know when
people get on mic and they start working
I find that most people don’t really
know how far along they’ve come
or how good they actually are they don’t
know that they’ve gotten what they
wanted now a better relationship can
always get better losing 20 pounds if
you’re 100 pounds overweight you can
lose more weight there’s always ways to
up the ante and again to move from where
you were to where you want to be and
then from where you are there to where
you want to be again right so that third
question of how will you know you have
it when you get it is just awesome
because it forces you to keep checking
in with yourself am i doing what I want
to do am i getting what I said I wanted
to get am I getting what I thought I
would feel what I would would be like
how my my mind will work when I get
there because you’re testing it you’re
taking a piece of litmus paper and
you’re dipping it in the solution and
you’re seeing what color it turns and
you’re checking to see if it’s the right
color or if it’s the wrong direction you
know maybe what you thought you wanted
you didn’t really want maybe what you
thought you’d have when you got what you
wanted isn’t really what you’re getting
and maybe the complete opposite maybe
you know what you want you know what
you’re going to have when you get it
what will having that do for you and you
can clearly see what happens when you
get what you want how will you know
those first three questions of the
outcome frame really help channel your
efforts as opposed to just throwing
stuff against the wall and seeing what
sticks oh maybe I’ll take a voiceover
class from David or maybe I’ll you know
look online and see what the best
microphone is or maybe you know all of
these maybes if you get very specific
about things it can be really useful now
after those first three questions there
are other questions in the outcome frame
it depends on who you take NLP from I
took my NLP from NLP Maron which is kind
of a direct descendant
the Bandler and grinder original NLP and
I’ve had conversations with other
friends of mine who’ve taken NLP and
it’s really it’s a lovely and joyous
experience it’s not like it’s it’s very
uncommon and the outcome frame is really
really useful I use it all the time
sometimes without knowing that I’m using
the outcome frame right but the
questions that follow on are also very
very useful once you ask what do I want
what will having that do for me how will
I know how will I know that I have it
when I get it there are other questions
like how will that change the rules
around how you live your life because
and we use this in the belive program
because once you start to make changes
guess what
the rules are gonna change to the things
that you used to rely on the things that
used to pay you off some of them aren’t
going to work anymore also when you get
what you want what will happen to the
way the people around you treat you will
those people who assume do you were
struggling seeing you not struggle will
those people change how they treat you
what will what will having that do for
you do to increase or decrease the
connections that you have with other
people there’s just it’s just a
fascinating thing to me I I was thinking
of apologizing for getting so esoteric
and deep in this stuff but I have a
feeling that there’s probably something
in your life that this might help you
take care of and if there is now is the
time to let me know in the comments
below has any of this helped you has any
of this made you a little bit more
introspective in a critically organized
way right as opposed to God I don’t even
know where to begin
I hope so let me know in the comments
below I’d love to have you on my mailing
list go ahead and fill out the get on
the list form at the bottom that’s
pretty easy to do and I know all kinds
of things that will help you know when
you get what you want if you do that I’m
David H Lawrence the 17th I thank you so
much
for watching and I will talk to you
tomorrow.